Remembrance Is For Fools
by SereneTragedy
Summary: AU, Snape didn’t die, but Harry didn’t survive when he killed Voldemort.


_**WARNINGS/SUMMARY **_: AU, Snape didn't die, but Harry didn't survive when he killed Voldemort. Dark and heart-breaking! Have tissues handy. Told from Snape's POV. This is a one-shot, no sequels, no prequels.

*…*…* = Start/End Flashback

~*~ *** ~*~

_**Three months after Harry's death…**_

_So tender… and innocent_,Severus sighed, _did it always have to be you?_

Sitting in his dungeons, in his classroom, on _his_ desk. Looking at the chair, he could still see those bright green eyes, staring into a potion he was soon to botch up. The raven-haired man smiled, _he'd never have his mother's grace for potions… but gods, did he have her eyes_. His heart clenched, _yes, he __**did**_, but he would never see them again.

The funeral had been long passed, months ago, but he could still feel him there, still stalked the halls late at night, waiting to come upon that damned invisibility cloak. But he wouldn't, never again.

He crushed his eyes shut, the stinging sensation balling up behind his eyes. He knew this could happen, Dumbledore had been quite persistent in fact. Severus remembered screaming at the barmy old man…

*…*…*

'_Why?! He's only a boy! He's stronger than any wizard who ever lived!'_

_Dumbledore smiled gently at the raving man before him, his eyes void of the trademark twinkle, he knew Severus cared, even if he wouldn't admit it to himself._

'_I'm sorry, my dear boy, I know it's not fair-'_

'_Fair?!' Severus sneered at the man, 'Fair is getting a detention when you break the rules, fair is going to Azkaban when you murder a fellow, fair-' he ripped his vision away from the Headmaster to stare into the flames at the hearth, ''not fair,' is the most hideous understatement you could ever come up with, old man.'_

_Dumbledore looked down at his steepled hands in his lap, _too right you are, my boy, too right you are…

*…*…*

Severus sucked in a shaky breath to steady himself, he had struck the Headmaster down, off the Astronomy tower, but a few months after that conversation. He understood the man's reasoning, but still didn't think the Headmaster fully understood what he was slowly doing to his beloved spy.

_Beloved_, he sneered to the empty room, finally able to open his eyes again. He frequently questioned the old wizard's sanity, but he had never questioned his loyalty, or his undying love. That man was a father to both him and the brat.

_Brat, oh gods Harry…_ Severus sighed, slumping his shoulders. He leaned against the desk, his palms holding his weight that had surely doubled in the last few moments.

That **brat**, had saved the wizarding world, and more than once. That **brat**, had been the bane of his existence since the day he walked through those doors. That **brat**, he had rescued too many times to count. That **brat**, _that brat saved me_.

The man shivered, a thrill of ice making its way down his spine. **He** was the reason the boy – no, man – was dead. The man he remembered hadn't been a boy in a long time, if ever he really had been.

He could hear Harry's laugh, see his smile. Severus forced his eyes to stay open, he couldn't see those images without falling apart, and he couldn't fall apart, not now, not ever.

_If only… maybe, if only I would have told him – maybe he would have stopped, knowing that I couldn't live without him_. His heart wretched, his hand moving lightning fast to cover his chest, gasping once again for breath. _I can't live without him…_

"Why, Harry?" he spoke to the empty room, tears finally finding a way over the brim of the torn man's eyes, "Why didn't I tell you I loved you?"

He collapsed, knees finding the hard stone floor, burying his head into potion-stained fingers. Finally, _finally_, mourning everything he lost. Most importantly, a man with such intense green eyes, that the world stopped when you looked at him. A man that, for some inane reason, forgave the murderer laying in a heap upon the floor, and trusted him with his life, and in the end, gave his life to save him, _him_ Severus Snape. A man that he, Severus Snape, fell in love with. The man that was, and is, forever taken from him, for eternity.

~*~ *** ~*~

Well I'm not usually one for sad endings, but I just got done reading a tragic-beauty starring our beloved couple and got inspired =) Hopefully you liked it! And, as always, if you want a copy (Word format), leave a review with your e-mail address.

Lastly, I have no beta. So if you see mistakes or have confusion feel free to rant in a review =)


End file.
